Family History

One of my biggest regrets in life was that I didn't remember all of the stories and things that my Grandmother told me.  She passed away while I was a preteen, and although she often told me stories about herself, I don't recall many.  The ones from my Grandfather are even foggier, since he died 2 years before she did, and always seemed 'older' than she was.  He was of course, but even in old age people can just have 'old people personalities'.  Now that I am in my mid thirties, I really would give just about anything to sit down and have a conversation with my grandparents and have all of my questions answered.

My dad's side of the family is just as bad.  My grandmother is suffering from altzheimer's disease, and barely remembers anyone, much less any details about her family or childhood.  At least, I remember a touch more from her stories than my mother's family.  Possibly because my NeNe (my dad's mom) ALWAYS told us stories about her family, and did so up until she began to loose her memory.  I was in my mid 20's by then.

I have been working on documenting my family history ever since I had my first child.  I never wanted him to feel the way I did, or to have the questions I had.

This past Christmas, I put together a family history album for my grandparents about their families.  It was a simple plan.  I wanted to highlight the family as it stand right now.  My grandparents, all of their children, their grandchildren and great grandchildren, as well as their siblings and parents.

I wanted to make the family history come alive for anyone who read it.  I wanted to make it enjoyable and easy to understand, and I wanted to be able to included photographs and documents that detailed the family.
I plotted for over a year trying to figure out how to lay it out.

What I decided to do was feature a main page with an overview of the tree.  I wanted to show both my grandfather LOU and my grandmother JENNIE and their parents and siblings as well as their children and their children's children.  I was thinking of a bowtie tree with siblings listed to the side but I wanted this to be an overview.  With photos and lines only.

It was the beginning of a good plan.  I planned out the rest of the album and decided that the next pages would include a dual page layout of my grandparents, and on that page, I would include smaller photos of thier children (as children).  Each of the pages after that would be of the Childen as adults.... with their children photos smaller on that page.  Followed by pages of the grandchildren (with their children if applicable).

I searched for scrapbook templates to make this easier, since a template and a repetitive layout and style will make for a more cohesive look to the finished project.  Once I found one I created a plan of the pages.

I used google docs to make a plan of the pages, and was able to add scans of things I had found to show the quick plan better.  For instance, I bought some of the Ancestry Pedigree charts and Family Group sheets at a local store and scanned images of them in, so I could plot out how it would turn out.

On the 'Coming To America' page, I wanted to use some file folders to keep an immigration file for each family.  I kept the album interactive by making a place for these file folders to pull out and be read when desired.  I also wanted to include all of the census records that mentioned direct ancestors, so I printed them off and highlighted our family then put them in a flip book style layout.  I provided translations of the census information for ease of reading (instead of writing Doe, Jon Jacob, m, s, 48, farmer, Illinois I would write Jon Jacob Doe was a Single male residing in Illinois during the 1900 census.  He was 48 years old having been born in XXXX in Michigan)  (I just made all that up, so my apologies if you are searching for information about Jon Jacob Doe from Illinois and stumble on this page!)  I found quite a few newspaper clippings that I was able to copy and I wanted to include these marriage announcements, obituaries, and stories of interest as well.

After collecting all my supplies, and hounding my family for old photos,  I set off to work.  And as the saying goes THE BEST LAID PLANS OF MICE AND MEN... OFTEN GO A-WRY.  I was off to a great start, but it didn't come together the way I had hoped.  I winged it, and made some changes based on what photos I had. And I put together an awesome album.

Everyone enjoyed it, and I have a few good ideas for how to put one together for my own children.

Exciting week!

So much has been happening this week, it's hard for me to focus on any of the things I said this blog was going to be about.  So I want to get the exciting things off of my chest so I can settle back down and get to working on those projects and resolutions I said I was going to do.

1.)  I just hired an attorney.  A good one too!  I seriously LOVE him.  I liked him quite a bit after the initial consultation, but now that he is hired, MAN!  he is awesome.  I have no doubt in my mind that he is the right man for this child support/custody/paternity thing I have going on.  If you are in the St. Louis area and need a lawyer for family law, I highly recommend Bruce Eastman of the Eastman Law Firm.  He has very reasonable rates, and a wonderful sarcastic bulldog type of attitude that kept me grinning throughout the appointment and made me feel very confident in my case.

2.)  The kids on my new bus route are not too awful.  (except the middle schoolers, but that is typical, and even they aren't too bad.)  If you wonder about why middle schoolers have such a bad reputation, let me tell you about the safety training meeting I attended this summer hosted by GRAYRAM TACTICAL.  They told us that a study was done about school violence and it was determined that most violence was committed by 12-13 year old boys (middle schoolers!) and it was statistically more likely to happen on a Wednesday in the month of October and was most likely going to involve fist fighting.  But really, Middle school kids do not have the more adult common sense of high school kids, and are not as afraid of getting in trouble as elementary school kids are, and are trying to make a name for themselves and to get attention.  It's like in Middle School they are on a bus for the first time, and they think they are grown, and MAN!  It can be a bad combo.  Luckily, I know they just want structure and are only trying their limits and things will settle down soon enough.

3.)  My husband has never met his BIO dad.  And for years genealogy has been a hobby of mine.  It has always aggravated my COD (that's OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order the way they are supposed to be!)  that half of my kids family tree looks like it was hit by lightening and just stopped growing.

This is really what their family trees look like... a huge chunk is missing!

     So I have been hunting for anything about this man who is my husbands dad.  All I had was his name and that he had been in trouble (read: gone to jail at least once).  I was able to find a birthday for him thru the free court search site here in Missouri.  It's called CASENET and can be found HERE.  Most states have some kind of free judicial lookup of court records somewhere if you are willing to dig.   Anyways, I posted on ANCESTRY.COM a message seeking information about the bio dad (we will call him Gary) parents.  I made it very clear that I was not trying to stalk or harass a person who didn't want to be found or who didn't want contact, and that I really just wanted to know Gary's parents names so that I could flesh out a family tree for the kids.  After a year or more of no responses, I got a reply from Gary's niece.  I was able to call her and get a TON of information.  And she seems like a pretty cool chick on top of it all.  So I am hot on the case of investigating all of the new family members and that whole branch of the family tree.  

4.)  I had an IEP meeting with my stepson's school.  Hopefully now the testing will be able to help us help him better.  I have hated to see him struggling like he does, and I don't want to get angry with him for not trying or whatever if he is physically UNABLE to do so.  Now finally, the school district is on the same page as we are, and we are going to be able to begin the evaluation and referral services.  

5.)  The mother of the Stepson (who is like my real son anyway) has lost custody of her youngest and the only remaining child that she had custody of.  If you are counting that makes 3 kids, 3 different dads, that she has LOST custody and visitation with.  I am slightly worried that she will do something stupid and I will have to explain adult problems to a kid who is just starting to settle in here.  I just don't want her to kill herself or something (overdose!)  I am sure she loves him, but needs to get help so she can effectively parent her child.  I don't want him to lose a mother without having the chance to understand that she isn't doing things to HURT him, she just has an addiction and it isn't his fault.  I think right now he is too young to understand that whole aspect of it, and it troubles me that she may force me into having to try to explain that to him.  I don't want him filled with anger at her or at us for any reason.  It's sad really.  However, I am glad that her youngest child is now away from her, for the child's sake.