Or so I would like to believe. I once again spent another day doing absolutely Jack Shit. I think I need some kind of plan to get going. I mean other than the whole FlyLady thing. I know there is a ton of stuff on my TO DO list. But I am a great list maker, and a poor list doer.
I did put all the Christmas crap away though. That has to count for something. Besides another item to do on my 'list'. (clean out shed)
I also finally threw away my old baby bottles. It was kind of a sad moment for me. Almost bittersweet. I am glad to have the cabinet space back, but it was like the end of an era. I had my tubes tied about 18 months ago, a few months after the birth of my 3rd bio kid (a girl!). I loved being pregnant. I wish I could be pregnant now. But that is normal. My doctor told me that the number one complication from a tubal was regret. I thought I was above it. But I regret it. Kinda. I mean, I don't like closing the door on that part of my life, but in my head I know that I cannot rationally afford anymore kids. But I miss the CHOICE. I don't know if that makes sense. Its sad to accept that I will never have another FILL IN THE BLANK of first moments once my daughter does them.
If I was a wine drinker, this is where I would pour myself a nice glass and drink my troubles away. But I don't drink, or at least I don't drink more than once or twice a year. So I am stuck trying to forget about it. I don't know why a part of me wanted to keep those faded beatup bottles. Maybe it was like holding on to a part of my babies even as they are growing up around me. Ahhh... the joys and sorrows of motherhood.
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